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Archive for June, 2014

Connecting with friends in Motherhood

ImageMotherhood can bring amazing rewards, as any mother will tell you. However, it can bring a good measure of stress as well, leaving many mothers exhausted and even at an increased risk of depression. That’s why self-care for mothers is important. One of a mother’s greatest resources is social support. Because of this, friends and other mothers can be a valuable resource. Mothers need friends for several reasons:

Social Support: Social support is important for health and stress relief; it increases resilience, multiplies joy, and softens sorrow.

Sharing Advice: Nobody understands a mother’s issues like another mother who’s been through the same thing! While all mothers don’t experience all issues, or experience them in the same way, the wisdom of having been there and the benefit of another mother’s answers can provide terrific solutions and provide reassurance. Moms of younger kids can benefit from the experience of more veteran mothers, and can gain confidence by helping out the more junior moms.

Getting Out There: Sometimes mothers can become so immersed in caretaking that they forget to do the things they enjoy. Other moms can help a mother get out there and enjoy what they enjoy doing!

Here are some tips for using mother friends and social support to relieve stress and stay at the top of your game as a mom:

Get Together for Play Dates: Meeting for play dates with other mothers and their children can provide positive social interaction for the kids and a nice dose of female bonding for the moms.

Have a Moms Night Out: While it’s fun to get together with the kids, getting together with mother friends one night a month or so can provide a whole different experience. Over dinner, the most interesting topics of conversation can arise: how husbands were met, what other moms were like pre-kid, etc. It offers a whole new level of fun and bonding, and gives moms a break.

Maintain Variety: Another great benefit of motherhood is that it connects women who would otherwise have little in common, or not even cross paths. Women can really benefit by connecting with other moms who are years younger or older, from a different background, or otherwise different from the friends she would usually seek out.

Help One Another: Moms can even give one another some needed nights out by forming a babysitting co-op. They can help make difficult times easier by bringing dinners to new moms or offering aid in times of crisis. These activities build a sense of community and set a good example for kids, and everyone benefits.

Go Online: Today’s moms have an amazing resource in the internet. Not only is it now easy to research any problem a mom may be experiencing, but the ability to forge a support system that conveniently fits into spare pockets of time is invaluable.

Keep In Touch With Old Friends: Motherhood changes a woman in many ways. Old friendships often change, but shouldn’t be forgotten. Keeping close with old friends helps a mom stay connected to who she is as a person, and both parties can benefit by growing into a new phase of relationship

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LESSONS KIDS LEARN FROM THE PLAYGROUND

Outdoor  portrait of a cute young black girl playing with a swinAt its simplest, the playground is where kids can kick high in the sky and run around without a care in the world. Surrounded by laughing and chattering playmates

Funny enough it’s a microcosm of the real world, with similar stresses and question marks. Children learn to conduct transactions and navigate relationships with others as they process insights into their own personalities. It can be fun, but it can be scary, sad, and frustrating, too.

They’ll find solid suggestions for handling anger and bullies, making friends, and learning patience. They’ll learn about celebrating themselves; the rewards of cooperation, sharing, and kindness; the need for following rules; and the value of honesty.

Life on the playground means not only the occasional skinned knee but bruised feelings, too. Its where kids learn to be brave and can soothe emotional wounds as they get back to the joy of kicking at those clouds.

The play ground has so many lessons to offer to kids to help them build character for many years to come.

 

Joy is within you

ImageJoy is not something for which you wait, joyful moments are to be created. Life has both good and not so good days. However, true joy has nothing to with the kind of day you are having. Rather, it is dependent upon the kind of sight you have – that is, the way you look at the kind of day you’re having.  

Joy is a simple and a wonderful feeling you can create with whatever you have at the moment. Joy can find its way into your life, despite the hardships that you might be experiencing right now. All you have to do is stimulate your creative instinct.

Here is how to create joy for yourself and your loved ones:

Celebrate just Being Alive

Even if you are going through extreme adversities in your life at the moment, you are still alive! Being alive, in itself, is a great blessing.  Never underestimate what is possible.  Your heart is stronger than you know and you can change things from the current state to a better state.

You are a Divine Creation

There is no one like you.  You were created by the Almighty Himself.  And you are blessed with so many things – things of which millions out there are deprived. Like they say, Count your blessings!”  I am certain you have many.

You are the Power in the Powerhouse

Within you is all you need. Take time out for yourself.  Dive deep and reflect. You will see that you already have all that it takes to make things happen. You are the Energy, the Source of your own goodness and the Creator of your own happiness.  You just need to become conscious of the fact that your body is a powerhouse and you are its ultimate power.

An eye for good transforms it into good

Just as the optimists of the world see the glass half full, so can you.  By looking for the good and believing that there is a ‘reason’ behind all that life presents you, you let the positive energy dwell in you, which eventually cleanses and bestows you immeasurable reward.

Talk less about that which you wish to talk the most 

It is often true that sharing eases the pain; however, when we share too much and too often, it increases the pain. You should share – but not with everyone – only with that special someone with whom you can “talk your heart out.”  And, if you don’t feel you have that person in your life, just start writing down your feelings, start writing your heart out.

The paradox is that often the more you talk about something that is troubling you, the worse you begin to feel about it – and in that way, it casts a sort of spell.  It will adversely influence you and can draw you into a vicious cycle. Seek advice if you feel you need it.  But, be introspective too.  

Affirm the one you see in the mirror with a smile

Say it! Declare it! Affirm it! The more times you say that things are okay, that things are fine, the more true that will be. Keep telling yourself that life is good, that you have much to cherish. You will have joy – in abundance – just by telling yourself that you are happy.  

 

Celebrating Motherhood

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A beautiful poem for mums…

Motherhood isn’t all fun and games.
It takes work, patience, self-control.
Being a mom can be exhausting, true.
But the blessings are more than worth it.

Consider a life without motherhood,
without bear hugs and butterfly kisses,
no delighted giggles or mischievous grins.
Life would be very dull indeed,
if children were not present.

Motherhood gives us a window back in time,
lets us recall memories of childhood,
reminds us to be grateful for simple pleasures.

There’s no job harder than a mother’s job,
but no work with greater reward.
The world is a better place with children,
and the mothers who dare to raise them.

By

Betsy Finn

Make every day the best

ImageWrite it on your heart that every day is the best day in your life.

Each morning spending 5 – 10 minutes in silence, jogging, walking, stretching, preparing and drinking your tea peacefully and undisturbed will do wonders for your day and for your whole life.

The mind is everything. What you think you become. Create your own personal mantra, something that will make your mind realize that you are serious about making every day the best day of your life. Replace your negative and self defeating self talk with your personal mantra.

Every day seek to be kind to those who are kind but also to those who are unkind. Do not allow anger, hate or resentment to poison your heart. Forgive and let go. Let your heart be filled with love. Do good and you will feel good. Treat everyone with love, kindness, tolerance, care and compassion.

Every day is a new life for a wise person and if there are things, people and experiences  that hold you back in life, making your days less happier and less meaningful than it should be, see if you can let them go. Don’t  burden yourself by carrying their heavy weight on your shoulders. Tie no weights to yourself. Travel light. Let them all go.

Get into the habit of loving yourself as if your life depends on it. Speak to yourself in the same way you would speak to someone you really, really, really love. And most importantly, treat yourself as if you were the most precious, most loving and most amazing person on this planet. Because you are.

Dream as if you’ll live forever and live as if you’re going to die today. infuse passion into your every day life and have fun in all that you do. So that when the time comes for you to look back at your life, you will have no regrets and you will feel proud of the life that you have lived.

Every night before you go to bed, you must empty your mind of all thoughts, all worries and all things that happened to you during the day and all things that need to happen the next day. Don’t allow yourself to go to bed with a head full of noise.Don’t do that to yourself.

Make each day the best.

 

ITS OK TO BE HAPPY…

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How does it feel to be happy? What does it take to be happy?

How can mums find their happy?

Being a mum sometimes means being overwhelmed. But this doesn’t mean it should always be the norm. There is so much to be happy about, there is so much to be grateful about. Sometimes being happy is found in the simple…

Like in the beautiful rhymes that kids sing from school or remember from church…

” Today is my favorite day…God made this a special day… I love tomorrow and yesterday, but today is my favorite day”…

Happiness is seeing your baby take their first step, fall over and still try again and again…

Happiness is seeing how excited your child is when you walk through the door and they are so eager to hug you and smother you with kisses.

For sure happiness is not a destination.

Find your happy, there is so much to be grateful for…

And today make a choice to be happy and enjoy motherhood.

It is a special gift.

 

Avoiding sibling rivalry

Image Bear in mind that conflict between siblings is normal and rivalry comes not from their feelings about each other, but from their need to be loved by their parents.
Set the scene for peace. Use routines and rules. Avoid situations that breed rivalry.
Don’t be the referee – stand back and back off and let them work it out. Allowing your children to drag you into each and every dispute is unhealthy for their relationship, and frustrating for you.
Encourage positive communication. Keep your words positive, make suggestions and let kids decide what to do with them.
Show positive attention. Appreciate children for who they are. Don’t compare.
Fair does not necessarily mean equal. Focus on each child’s individual needs.
Encourage sibling love. Look for the good by saying things such as ‘that’s kind of you to let your brother go first’. Stir up exciting feelings of giving and caring that build love between your children.

How else do you deal with sibling rivalry?