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Archive for May, 2014

Set Goals

ImageStudies have shown that the people who sets goals are among the wealthiest and most prosperous people in the country.

So why is it that people don’t set goals, especially when we know that those who do set goals are in a place where we will all want to be? If you ask why, most people will tell you they don’t know how to do it, or that they don’t have time nor the patience necessary…

You have no idea how much we can discover about ourselves once we take the time to write our thoughts and our dreams down on a peace of paper. It is a really powerful and magical simple technique.

“To be all we can be we must dream of being more. To do all that is possible, we must attempt the impossible.” ~ Care Robin

There are so many things we don’t know about ourselves, about life, about what is possible and what is not possible, about what we can/can’t do, and most of us choose to believe everything other people tell us to believe without questioning a single word.

“Goals are not only absolutely necessary to motivate us. They are essential to really keep us alive.”Bill Copeland

Take a piece of paper and let your imagination run wild. Write down everything you dream of becoming, everything you want to have and everything you want to be. Don’t be afraid, if you haven’t done this in a while, or maybe never, you might think you have little or nothing to write , but that’s not true. You know it and I know it.

We all have dreams. Dreams give us hope about the future and with hope everything is possible.

Remember when you were a little boy/girl and you knew exactly what you wanted to do with your life? Remember how you used to dream all day long about the great things you would one day accomplish? What happened to your dreams?…

I will tell you what happened. Everybody around you started telling how things aren’t the way you think they are, and that life is hard, life is tough and you need to be more realistic, and you gave up. You became on of them and you decided to leave your dreams behind you… This is how you forgot about your dreams.

Such a sad story, isn’t it? Not really. If you can find the courage to bring them back to life and work toward making them come true, it won’t be a sad but a wonderful life story, the story of your life.

“Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men’s blood… Make big plans, aim high in hope and work. Daniel H. Burnham

So start writing. Ask yourself:

What do I really want?

Write down all that comes to your mind, whether you think is crazy or not, whether you think is possible or impossible. It does not matter. Forget about your limits and dare to dream, big dreams, for they are the ones who move the hearts of men, like Goethe once said it.

After making your list, wait an hour or two to pass, read the list and ask yourself these questions:

Why do I want this?

If you can’t seem to get an answer, then it’s not really a dream, and it won’t become a goal for you. We don’t want to waste any time on something we don’t really want. Cross it off your list.

We want only those things that keep us focused, enthusiastic, excited and passionate.

We don’t want to be living somebody else’s dream, right? We’re done with doing that. We only want to do those things that bring us joy, peace and happiness. We only want to do those things that are morally right for us and for those around us.

If you have doubts about any of them, you will have to cross them off the list. We have to make sure that we set our goals properly for a goal properly set is halfway reached.

“You have to set goals that are almost out of reach. If you set a goal that is attainable without much work or thought, you are stuck with something below your true talent and potential.” ~Steve Garvey

With those dreams that are left, ask yourself if each and every one of them will make you feel better about yourself, if they will bring inner peace and joy into your life and the lives of those you love.

Will your dreams help you live a healthier and more abundant life?

Will they help you make new and wonderful friends?

Will they help you meet new people, people who can help you grow and learn new and interesting things?

We don’t want any “No’s” . If you have one, two or more of them, you will want to cut those dreams off your list also. We have to go through this process in order for you to eliminate all those things you thought you want but don’t really need.

Now that you only have what’s really worth having and what’s really important to you, try to separate them in three categories:

Short term goals (one month or less),

Intermediate goals ( 3 months to one year for achieving your goal)

Long term goals ( between one and three years to achieve your goals).

We need small goals and also BIG goals. The small ones to teach us how to be more patient, more disciplined and to make us aware of the fact that the future comes one day at a time and to help reduce the possibility of feeling stuck and frustrated.

We also need BIG goals for they are the ones who can help us grow, they help us reach our full potential.

After doing all this “hard work” that some of you thought as being impossible, rewrite all them on your notebook or place them  somewhere you can see and read them often.

Let’s not forget, what’s out of sight is also out of our mind. At first, see if you can read your goals and intentions everyday if you possible, it will only take you five to ten minutes.

And make sure you commit yourself to making your dreams come true. Take action, have fun and remember to enjoy life – one step at a time.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

 

PRESS PAUSE, AND CELEBRATE MOTHERHOOD

ImageBeing a working mum means you get caught up. You get caught up in so much. In keeping the house running. Ensuring there is food, laundry is clean, house is clean, everyone is warm and so much more. Without knowing it slowly and surely motherhood starts becoming a routine.

For some mums the frustration sets in and the smile on your face is replaced by a permanent frown, and in the mix of things you find yourself zoning out the voices of your children just so you don’t go crazy. Many mums have been there, they know how frustrating it can get and yet it’s so hard to talk about it.

Perhaps a good start would be to go back to that feeling, of what motherhood means to you. The feeling of the first time you held your baby, the first time they smiled at you, grew a tooth, took their first step or even learned to feed themselves! the many milestones that we take for granted which brought joy to our lives.

There is so much to celebrate about motherhood, pausing a bit to be in their lives might bring the joy back to you. Make the effort and change your perspective as you become more and more present. Read a story together, watch a cartoon they like together, kick the ball and roll in the grass or once in a while break the routine and walk them to the bus as they head to school. Life is about the little things. The little things that really matter. So go on…. pause and enjoy what matters.

DO YOU HAVE A FAMILY BUCKET LIST?

With job demands, homework, and kids involved in way too many extracurricular activities many families have to really work at spending quality time together.

ImageSure, you have dinner together several nights a week, attend sporting events on weekends, and go to the occasional movie. But –enriching activities? Giving back to the community? Taking educational trips? Not so much. There’s no time.

How about purposely making a Family Bucket List?

Each family member can make several suggestions then as a family choose three favorite ideas, and assign one per month.

The list should have something for everyone.

What things would you put on your family bucket list?

 

Principles Of Excellence

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“Excellence can be obtained if you: …care more than others think is wise; …risk more than others think is safe; …dream more than others think is practical; …expect more than others think is possible.”

Here are a few principles to achieving excellence in life:

Infinite Love

Infinite Love for the work you do. If you don’t love what you do, chances are you will never become excellent at it. You might be good at your work or whatever it is that you do, great maybe, but never excellent. This is why is so important to do what you enjoy, to use your gifts and talents because then and only then, it will all come natural to you, and what others might see as hard work, for you it will only be Infinite Love and Play. You don’t have to struggle in order to make your dreams come true; you don’t have to work hard; you won’t have to make all kind of sacrifices. The moment you put love in what you do, and work with your heart, nothing will be seen or felt as hard work, to you.

“Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.” 

Excellence Requires Discipline

You may have a talent or more than one, and you may be very gifted, but if you don’t work with your talents, if you don’t play with them, they will eventually go to waste. You have to learn how to discipline yourself to do those things that need to be done in order to get excellent results. You want to be an excellent writer, singer, actor, business man/ woman, mother, father? Well, you have to learn how to devote your time, focus and energy on improving your skills and talents.

Of course, we are all born with unique gifts and talents, but if you look around you, you might think that’s not quite true, right? Well, unfortunately, not everyone has the courage to do what their heart tells them to do; not everybody has the courage to do what makes them happy over what makes other people happy, or what makes them more money faster; not everybody has the courage to take the road less traveled…. Why do all of these things when you can listen to your parents, your friends or enemies, the society you live in, the media, right? They “always” know better than you do how you should be living your life and what can make you happy or unhappy.

Don’t let your life in the hands of others. You are the only one responsible for your life, your happiness and your talents. It is your responsibility to work with your talents and master them!

There are way too many people who do what they do only for the money, power or the prestige, and not too many who see work as a way of expressing their love; as a way of sharing their unique gifts and talents with the rest of the world; as play rather than a permanent struggle; as a work of art.

“Champions do not become champions when they win the event, but in the hours, weeks, months and years they spend preparing for it. The victorious performance itself is merely the demonstration of their championship character.” 

Excellence Is A State Of Mind

 It’s true. Before you can HAVE something, you have to first BE that something. Success begins inside us, it is a state of mind, and until you won’t accept this idea, adopting an attitude of excellence, chances are that you will have a hard time believing in yourself; you will have a hard time believing in your talents and your ability to achieve excellence in your field.

If in your mind you aren’t able to see yourself as already being the person you want to be, as already feeling those feelings that come from being excellent in the work you do, you will have a hard time making things happen. Start with the end in mind; see yourself as already being there, and KNOW that it will happen, because in your mind it just did.

Constancy To Purpose – Patience And Persistence

 We need to learn how to give time, time. A lot of people have a hard time with this one. We want things to happen fast, really fast, and because excellence takes time, in fact, all great things take time, most of us quit. We plant the seed of excellence in our minds, hoping that we will see the results overnight, and, because we see that days, weeks, months pass without having great results, we abandon everything, believing that we failed, feeling frustrated, angered, upset, depressed and defeated, not knowing that:

“Failure is only postponed success as long as courage ‘coaches’ ambition. The habit of persistence is the habit of victory.” 

If you know what you, want and WHY you want it, you won’t see failures as failure, but rather as feed-backs, as lessons that will help you grow into the person you dream yourself of becoming. Impatience is not the key to achieving excellence. Constancy to purpose, patience and persistence are!

Letting Go

 Letting go of your need to control everything that will happen to you along the way; letting go of your need to control the outcome and allowing things to just happen are important aspects of achieving excellence in your life. Detach yourself from the outcome, and KNOW that it will all be taken care of. You have prepared yourself for this journey, and now, all you have to do is surrender. Learn to enjoy every moment of this journey toward excellence; learn to be present in everything you do, and let yourself be completely immersed in every action you take, in everything you say or do, whether big or small. Make each day excellent, and at the end of your life, you will add all of these days, you will put them together, and your result will be an EXCELLENT AND SUCCESSFUL LIFE.

And always remember, EXCELLENCE IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION!

TEACHING YOUR CHILD PATIENCE

ImagePatience is a virtue your child needs now — from waiting for her chance on the playground slide, or to play with a toy to sitting in the supermarket cart or through the church service etc.

Patient kids often grow into star pupils and they get along with others because they’re able to take turns. Here are a four ways that can help you teach your kid to wait without whining:

Don’t come running every time he/she asks you to do something, “Say, ‘I can’t do that right now,’ so your child doesn’t get hooked on immediate gratification,”

Praise your child when she holds her horses. It’ll reinforce the behavior.

Do projects together that require patience. she will learn from the practicality of the lesson.

Deliver on promises. Don’t say you’ll take her to the park after lunch, and start the laundry instead. “Your child needs to trust that if she waits, you’ll come through,”

 

We can learn from children

Image“The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.” ~ Albert Einstein

Keep Discovering. Keep Exploring
From discovering their hands and feet as infants, to discovering that monsters really do not live in the closet or under the bed. From letting go of what has held them up and finding out they can put one foot in front of the other to walk, to exploring a new sport they were so intimidated by before and finding out they are really good at it. Children can teach you to keep exploring and to keep discovering. Discovery can be so rewarding, but we have to be willing to open ourselves to it. We have to continue to spark our curiosities and to stop assuming we know the answers. It is amazing what happens when we approach life knowing we actually know nothing at all.

Be yourself. “…those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind”
There is this boy who dresses himself since he was age 2. One day at age 3 he decided to wear his bright orange bubble vest along with some shorts and rain boots. He was just going to get ice cream with the mum and that is how he wanted to go. Hand in hand, they went. There were plenty of people there and all of them looking right at him and smiling, some laughing. He was very comfortable with the attention and was more into the ice cream than at the kids who were staring at him. He was himself. To him, it was about self-expression and it did not matter who laughed or pointed. He was comfortable in his own skin, orange bubble jacket and rain boots. That day, he taught his mum to be comfortable with herself as well.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde

Dance like no one is watching.
Put some dance music on and watch how children react. Most of them don’t think twice about it, they just dance. At weddings, at school dances, at parties, they always dance. They dance with whatever rhythm they may have and they don’t care who is watching. What do the adults do? They stand around and watch the kids or continue their conversation. “Dance as though no one is watching you, Love as though you have never been hurt before, Sing as though no one can hear you, Live as though heaven is on earth.” ~ Souza

Keep Dreaming and develop a plan.
If you ask a child what they wanted to be when they grow up, you will get all sort of interesting answers; a DJ, a Car Designer, a pilot, a doctor, an Engineer. They have elaborate plans on how they will achieve this. They are young but their dream is completely attainable for them. As adults, we become so distracted by our responsibilities (job, children, etc) that we have let go of our long lost dreams of becoming whatever it was we wanted to be. I understand being an astronaut may be far reaching for many of us now, but studying astronomy is not. Looking through a telescope and admiring the universe is not. You had dreams of becoming a musician? Pick up an instrument, take some lessons and sing away! Show your children that dreams do not have to stay dreams.
“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” ~ Walt Disney

Patience.
We learn patience from the day we find out we are pregnant. From those long 40 weeks of pregnancy to the labor hours. Patience is learned early. Patience is also learned while up at 4 a.m with a wide awake infant and while teaching your child how to read the words Cow, Car and Dog.
“Our patience will achieve more than our force.” ~ Edmund Burke

A messy home is not the end of the world.
We like things in their place, floors spotless and the kitchen sink free of dirty dishes. However, we should also understand, toys are best all over the place and keep the kids entertained while you try to prepare dinner. Mud prints on the floor makes for a good laugh after the fact and the mess made by the kids fuels exploration, imagination and discovery. A mess is just that, a mess, it can be cleaned up and is not the end of the world.

Take risks.
Jumping from couch to couch, dangling off of monkey bars upside down, rolling right off the bed without the slightest concern of the drop to the floor, attempting to jump into the pool before you make it in to catch them, you get the picture. I am sure there are many more events to come that will give you minor heart attacks, but the fearless attitude a child possess is something to be admired. The risk taking that children feel comfortable with should be a reminder to us that we will never know the result unless we try it. Its not about the skydiving or bungee jumping risks, Its about the job change or even that new hair cut risk. Assumptions do not do anything but create a false sense of security or self-doubt. Stop assuming and do it. If you fall, get up clean yourself up and either try again or move on to the next risk you have been contemplating over. Children have a lesson adults should learn, to not be ashamed of failing, but to get up and try again. Most of us adults are so afraid, so cautious, so ‘safe,’ and therefore so shrinking and rigid and afraid that it is why so many humans fail.

Fill your heart with Love.
You find true love when you have children. It is so hard to verbalize. It is a love encompassed by so many other feelings, joy, admiration, respect, appreciation, reward, pride, anxiety, worry, adoration and amazement. The love you give to them, they return to you every day. There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.

Treasure the Time given to you.
The most important lesson you can learn from you children is the immeasurable value of time and to treasure and enjoy the time given to you. The quote “The days are long, but years are short” is an understatement. Yes, those sleepless nights with you little one makes days very long; but they grow so fast.
Time is constant, the hours pass, the years pass and you are consciously making an effort to ENJOY your time with the children. Enjoy the time you discover and explore with them; the time you are not feeling so good about yourself and your kid tells you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world, the time you have a dance party in the kitchen; the time you all cuddle as a family in pajamas watching a movie; the time you share your dreams and talk about your plans to reach them; the time when your patience is tested and you get through it a little more patient than the day before; the time you try to clean the house, step on toys and trip over a remote control car; the time when you watch your oldest try to swim from one side of the pool to the other unassisted for the first time and the time you hear “I love you thiiiiiissss much and you reply “I love you more!” and hear back “I love YOU more!”.

Time is a gift given to us, and we have the responsibility of doing something wonderful with it.

Create memories, give love and most importantly, ENJOY.

 

What’s the hardest thing about planning a birthday party?

Image Chances are, if you’ve ever thrown a child’s birthday party, this has happened to you: The invitations have been sent; a few RSVPs have trickled in, and then … nothing.

You e-mail a reminder. A few more parents respond, but you’re nowhere close to a head count for the bouncy- castle. You check your e-mail obsessively. Where is everybody?

It’s become a huge hot-button issue: people who respond late, don’t answer at all, or, most aggravatingly, don’t reply and then show up with two siblings in tow.

What to do?

  • First off, try not to immediately condemn the laggards. “Things get lost in cyberspace, and we don’t always know what’s going on in other people’s lives,” Possibly, your child’s party is not their top priority.” Ouch.
  • Still, there are ways to goad them into action, start with a paper. Yes, it’s more effort, but you’ll get a higher rate of return. “Research shows people respond more when you’ve given them something, even if it’s small,” Jotting a note creates a further sense of obligation (“Looking forward to having Sean join us!”).
  • If your initial invitation is sent electronically, prod parents with an e-mail: “Please RSVP so there isn’t a pizza shortage!”
  • Send the first invitation four weeks out. Have a B list of friends ready, and then, as soon as a “No” comes in, send out another invite, up to a week and a half before the big day.
  • Doing an auto-reminder? Make the final RSVP date two days before the actual one. Then send your own e-mail follow-up: “I know everybody is so busy, but we need to give a head count by Thursday and just want to make sure your child is included.” If the party is days away, suck it up and call to ask if the child will attend.

Try out these 5 tips next time you are planning a birthday party.